Black Girl: Still Available!

The Secret Council of American Negroes is continuing its advertisement campaign letting men of the world know how wonderful our women of color are. While some of our slogans haven't quite taken off as we would like, we will continue to push the issue that our cherished sisters are just as sexuality attractive, loving, friendly and educated as any other type of women. In fact, our sisters fantastic.

Please, continue to spread the word that black women are totally marriage worthy. Even trophy marriage worthy. But don't believe us. Check out the testimonial below!

Filmmaker Spike Lee and actor Isaiah Washington

Spike Lee: All my life it's been about black women. I love black women. The sound of their voice. The hair, the nails, the skin ... the ass.
Isaiah Washington: My wife is like the goddess Isis and I was Osiris before I met her, scattered about the earth but she searched for me and assembled my parts and made me whole.
Spike: Damn! You must be smoking the good shit.
Isaiah: I'm smoking nothing but the black woman, Spike. She is the essence, the origin of the species, she is where LIFE comes from!
Spike: Slow up. Let me write this down. This would make a great birthday card for my wife. Repeat the shit about Isis again.
Isaiah: When my wife decided to go bald I celebrated it. I relish her head. And I will love her relentlessly as she is my partner, my equal. We will fight the war together and return home victorious!
Spike: DAMN. Why didn't I know you when I was single. I could have pulled ass for days with you. You're better than a Barry White record.
Isaiah: May the man who dares to damn my wife go BLIND!
Spike: OK. Now you're getting creepy.
Isaiah: And may he be disemboweled and his intestines be strewn about the streets so the pigeons may feast upon them!
Spike: See? This is why we stopped hanging out. You're too intense.
Isaiah: Some things DESERVE intensity, SPIKE! My wife. My BLACK wife deserves this intensity, SPIKE!
Spike: Look. I'd kill a mutha fucker who touched my wife too, but I'd just pay someone to do it. You're getting all Wesley Snipes and shit.
Isaiah: Wesley does not understand the DEPTHS of my devotion to black women, especially to MY black woman. He does not have the loyalty I have. He is not committed to the role!
Spike: I'm not going to argue with you considering his ass is about to go to prison.
Isaiah: If you marry a black women you're 86 percent less likely to end up in prison.
Spike: Really?
Isaiah: That's what SCAN said.
Spike: You know they be inflating that shit, right?
Isaiah: LIES!!!
Spike: I'm sorry. Yeah. Marry a black woman. Stay out of prison.
Isaiah: She will make you whole.
Spike: What he said. And don't forget to buy the special anniversary edition of "X" when it comes out. It's a two-disc set. Twice the Denzel. Twice the depressing!

Actor Robert De Niro and singer/songwriter David Bowie

Robert De Niro: I've dated a lot of women.
David Bowie: Me too.
Robert: But none of them felt right. They just weren't perfect. They just weren't ...
David: They weren't black.
Robert: Yeah. They weren't. I mean, they were nice girls.
David: Sure. Sure.
Robert: They just didn't have that thing. You know? The thing?
David: I could have had Claudia Schrieffer, but who the fuck wants that? What would we talk about? Her hair? Iman is perfect. She's one part Grace Jones, one part Storm from X-Men. That's 100 percent fucking fantastic. I married a Goddess wrapped in the body of a super hero. I wanted to marry her and scream "me first! Me forever!" Your wife's not bad either, Robert.
Robert: She's my baby. She's the mother of my child.
David: Black girls are just so nice. So passionate. So understanding. So deliciously brown.
Robert: The brown is nice. There's smoothness to it and a youthful glow. Honestly. It's like ... my wife doesn't age. She looks, in the face, totally as gorgeous as the day I met her. I wish I could say the same for myself. Am I right? I'm totally getting old over here. But she's a fountain of youth.
David: I can't get enough of black girls. They're interesting. So cultured and well read. I didn't find other women particularly interesting. Plus black girls totally smell like cinnamon and shit rainbows. I kid you not!
Robert: We're not knocking white chicks, though. I'm sure they shit something really interesting too.
David: But not rainbows.
Robert: To do the rainbows, I think you have to be like, part Yorba or something. Or from the horn of Africa. I think. I don't know. My wife won't let me know the secret but it smells like French toast and potpourri. I kid you not!
David: I was into Chinese girls for about five minutes. But other girls, they're great in their own way, but I wouldn't date them though. I just can't go back, Robert. I honestly cannot go back.
Robert: The other girls, they're just different, you know? They're just not ...
David: A black girl.
Robert: Yeah. I concur. They're the best.